Did you ever hear your parents say "I wish I could go back to school, I wish id done enough" and think NAH, no you don't, and then hobble back to your bedroom with MSN nudges chiming in the background with a little giggle under your breath?
Well fast forward about 13 years later, sitting in living room of the flat I share with my wonderful fiancé & life partner of 9 years, the world at my feet & here I am saying those exact words my Mum mentioned to me when I was that aggy teenager and think "DAMN GIRL you were fucking right"!
My twenties have been a constant slur of feeling like *that girl* who's on a constant merry go round, waking up in the morning feeling like i'm going to own the world & be the next #GIRLBOSS, to then crying into my bubble bath, being a complete sap of life.
Its been a constant slur of emotions of negativity, positivity, frustration and pure un-adultness and not knowing exactly where I want to take my life, I have career aspirations, personal life goals and also the odd occasion of wanting to divulge an entire galaxy caramel bar and ngaf!
For those of you who follow my blog, you'll maybe also know that I make YouTube videos & this is something that is a HUGE passion of mine, I absolutely love it, but that also doesn't go without saying that is really bloody hard to feel a part of a community that you are equally so distant from, having a conversation with my mum the other day made me realise how much we have come to depend on instant gratification from the likes of social media 'influencers' alike and how we thrive off of a world we have absolutely no true understanding of!
I lay awake till sometimes 3am at night, scrolling my feeds & pulling my screen down numerous times every ten minutes, with the hopes of a new subscriber, a few more instagram followers and tweets in my notification box, realising i don't quite live the life of the other girls on my feeds, a holiday to the Maldives? YEP hand me the ticket please, Gucci Dionysus, i'll have one of those to make my outfit posts trend!
Life as a Millennial is a constant battle of trying to live your normal life and do you, whilst living your life through a lens of other peoples and constantly measuring yourself up with the hopes of living that life one day!
Now I'm totally not knocking this life, its the life I want, of course it is, I'm blogging for fun and I make videos for the love of doing so, but u wanna hand me a paycheque for that too so I can go shopping for some new Haul content, sure!
Its a constant battle of fear of never being good enough, even re-reading this blog post right now, I'm worrying is this content good enough?
Never matching up to those you aspire and follow every day of your life, never feeling quite like your content reaches that level like those bloggers you see in the hammocks on beaches on insta, but thats ok! thats really fucking ok!
We are human, we are normal everyday people, who live everyday normal lives and thats ok!
I want this post to be motivation for your day, motivation to get up and hug your partners, hug your cats/dogs, tell your parents you love them & love your damn self, love yourself so hard.
You are good enough, you will always be good enough, have your dreams & push them, push those boundaries so hard they might break, but know when to take a back seat and chill with that galaxy bar, in the bath if you really fancy and realise there is more to life then relishing in the lives of others achievements!
Realise how far you've come in life and how much more potential you have, do you & do it well!
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