the personal post..

So ive been contemplating for a few days now about writing a personal post, and this evening made me completely make my mind up on doing it, so here it is..

Tonight i had been invited out with my partner and a few friends to our local pub and from the minute i got there i realised how left out i felt, i know why this is and i guess im partly to blame, i dont drink alcohol so i guess they feel like im some-what different from the rest of the group which in turns makes me excluded from there little group of fun, my reasons for not drinking are down to a huge weight in my life *anxiety*

This wasnt something i was going to talk about through this blog as i wanted to keep it aside from everything in my blog, i keep seeing a few posts about speaking up about anxiety and i feel maybe i should too, im quite happy to speak about it in my everyday life so i guess if i can help others through speaking about it on my blog i will do!

Basically i left everyone and went home this evening, i walked home in tears frustrated at them and at myself for letting my troubles get in the way, and also annoyed at the fact that because i dont drink i shouldnt be included, why do they feel the need to judge on the fact that i dont drink? Im just as fun, if not more happy than them when im sober and have some of the best nights with a completely clear head, so what is it about anxiety that makes me seperate from everyone else?

Anxiety is something i have been suffering with for about 3 years now, i did suffer from the worst panic attacks, which since going on medication i hadnt had one for nearly a year, until the last few weeks, they seem to have come back and i think its making me focus more on them than everyone else around me, maybe i seemed disconnected to everyone this evening and thats why i hadnt been involved?

I just want to be able to speak to like minded people who also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and gather a way of talking about it with the hopes that we can all work our way through it and offer tips and advice for each other on how we deal with it, the one thing i have noticed is that it seems to be creative people that seem to suffer with it the worst, i dont know why this is maybe all that creativness causes overdrive in our minds haha!

Excuse the long rambly post, i just needed to clear my mind and i thought writing this would help!

If you ever want to talk to me about anything my email is frankiebooxx@gmail.com if not leave a comment and i always reply :)

Lots of love Frankie xXx